What happened to all the nice guys?
March 25, 2008 by leetseyew
Feeling in the dumps recently….Nice guys finish last anyways… Dont believe in love anymores… well i hope i will pick myself up soon 
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Eric.
25/3/08.
.
And the answer to the question “What Happened to All the Nice
Guys?”, i read it from some article
(http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html)
and find the answer quite truthful…
.
Here’s quoted from his article:
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The answer is simple: you did.
.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a
Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with
you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your
place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going
out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him
about how horribly the (other) guy that you were treated.
.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he
was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do
things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you
because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior
was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having
any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by
claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your
type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or
too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do
any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish
boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship
with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this
other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him.
More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or
became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to
him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term
relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the
bar scene for several months having only encountered players and
douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”
.
Well, once again, you did.
.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy
without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed
at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof
boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he
took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to
realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who
hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a
Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted
five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you
cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d
have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably
cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally
acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate
rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the
complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that
you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a
handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
.
So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a
nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have
matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you
might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in
reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash
his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
.
If you were five years younger.
.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to
the fact that you’ve screwed yourself over. You’re getting older, after
all. It’s time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn’t
want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t want you,
now.
.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
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Yo Eric, i still believe nice girls out there are looking for nice guys…
but prob is, are you pinning after the NICE GIRLS???
Hi Eric,
If I’m reading this right, I feel for you. Not to brag or boast, I consider myself nice too, and I know I am, but it has very often hit me in the face that the niceness and kindness will very often backfire.
As best as I understand, women are drawn to the bad boy for his unpredictability and wildness which, for some strange reason, they hope to tame perhaps with their beauty. Inevitably, some fail and get played and hurt. They cry, and call men jerks, but possibly forgetting the whole thing started because they let themselves fall for the scumbag.
To a very great extent, nice guys finish last because they are just used to fulfill the need of girls who want to feel adored and desired. And being nice, such guys naturally find it difficult to stop being nice and, for once or twice, say “no” to a girl.
I think you guys still fail to see the point. This wouldn’t have happened if you fall for the right partners to begin with, guys and girls alike.
Women, why let your heart get torn by heartless jerks? There are many eligible guys out there waiting for ya…
Gentlemen, why are you bent on one such woman? There’s a sweet shy flower out there secretly liking you for a long time, only you paid her no attention…
I came by a blog recently and I must say it opened eyes.
“Guys like the one described in the essay realize how unreasonable the girl is but still comfort and assure her. Good job for encouraging for such pathetic behavior.”
Read more about it here and its comments left by readers:
http: //weblog. xanga. com/MuseErato/649217123/blacklisting-8220nice8221-guys .html
(I’m sorry I nida break the address up becos otherwise my comment would not have gone thru. Friendster blog must have a spam protector or something)
Hey Eric,
If you really feel time to find a partner, join SDU, or sign up for $300 dinner match making session etc etc, but a lot of my buds prove this work. Go Church!!! Find your targeted miss perfect, sit besides her during masses or best go weddings with her. 
This is insider secrets to settling down or aka digging your own grave. 
Just don’t kill me 10 yrs down the road when you need to take care of kids, with maid following and taking the dog for the walk which most singaporean gals like to buy these days and expecting their partner to take care of the dirty stuff. 
Final secret: Go Shanghai or Taiwan. You won’t regret it!
Cheer up man. There are definitely nice gals looking for nice guys and it really depend on your context on “nice”. If you want to look for soul mates, try very very hard. Not many people succeed. Out of 10 couples, probably 2 out of 10 will say they truly found their soul mates. Otherwise there won’t be quarrel.
To Bon: Thanks for the advice. I do however half agree with that gal’s article cause i think women still need comfort at times but subtly tell her its not correct and not give it to her hard like in that article. As for me, i normally like someone from the start, but thats just my character.. lol.
To Jeremy: Thanks for dropping by and sympathising with me bro… My guess is those gals who like bad boys are not that matured yet.. But sadly some mature ones may go for money instead…. haha.. Guess we have to go with the natural instincts of women then
To Ethan: Thanks bro for your words and “secrets” !! I do have lots of friends who are married after becoming a christians thanks to the “secret”… but i try not to cause i already have a religion..lol.. dont worry i have gotten past my emotions and already picking up my life… hey Happy Eric is back in town again
oh btw bro… are u a Christian? 